Friday, December 16, 2011

My heart's ticking like a bomb in a birdcage

So I'm going to forego the standard, extremely awkward hey-there-it's-my-first-post!-themed blog post, and pretend that this isn't my first blog post, when in fact it is. I'm not sure I have a specific reason for doing this, but there are just so many thoughts revolving about my mind that I would probably combust if I didn't find a place to stow them... Quick.

I usually write songs to process through unusual situations and the eclectic blend of emotions they entail, but since my guitar couldn't accompany me on this trip (sigh), that simply isn't an option. I just can't write songs without my guitar. It's like typing without a keypad, or clicking without a mouse (excuse the lousy figures of speech, I haven't slept in days). And yes, I've tried everything else one could possibly try - diaries, poems, you name it. But for some reason, I always end up feeling like a ludicrous loon, sitting and talking to a wall. I guess it's only human to seek comfort in a listening ear.

So I hope as I begin sharing different moments of my life through this blog, I may find listening ears. Or reading eyes. Whaaaaaattt?

Well this is turning out to be the introductory blog post I didn't want it to be, so I'll get on with my thoughts before I start spinning in circles and passing out (not very unlikely). And since I can't quite bring myself to organizing my thoughts, I've no choice but to spew them in list form. Bleh.

From the Top of my Head
  • I miss you. Had to get it out.
  • I am beyond exhausted, but cannot for the life of me find it in me to sleep!
  • But despite this, I have never felt so much love flow in and through me. It's times like these where it's impossible to deny the living and active existence of a Divine Power.
  • I felt the most genuine love today for people in general. Now I know what love truly means. It is a choice, a service, and a sacrifice. It is God.
  • I have slept approximately three hours in the past three days, but am filled to the brim with strength.
  • I feel fat. This may sound shallow and self-centered, but I am a woman, and reserve the right to feel fat every once in a while.
  • The delicacies from Sorsogon are amazing! Especially the pili nut ones. Mmm...
  • I feel like this blog post is beginning to get messy. I say beginning because it's only the beginning.
  • Haha just kidding, my eyes are so heavy I might fall asleep on this computer.
  • I want to marry Leo Tolstoy.
  • Or C.S. Lewis.
  • If only the fact that they're both dead weren't such a barrier... Lol.
  • I performed in the rain for a brief moment earlier, and got shocked by the mic several times. It was an electrifying feeling, no pun intended.
  • Waiting is one of the hardest things in the world.
  • If I had one wish, aside from God's will... Okay, fine, if I had TWO wishes, they would be (1) for God's good, pleasing, and perfect will to come to pass in every aspect of my life, and for my heart to be receptive & obedient to it, and (2) for patience.
  • Whoops, those were three wishes.
  • I took a bunch of vain pictures earlier (which I never do).
  • I got an awesome new shirt, which is my new favorite. Hence the self-portraits.
  • I love Superman! In case you haven't noticed...
  • And apparently, I have no idea how to edit photos anymore.

Now playing:
What I Wouldn't Do - A Fine Frenzy